


You Light the Ground (I Walk On)

by Chash



Series: Holiday Fills 2018 [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, F/M, Friends With Benefits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-02 11:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16785838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: Finding Bellamy's long-lost sister was supposed to be a good thing, and in most ways, it is. TheSylphis always looking for more crew, and Octavia hates the Empire and is Force-sensitive to boot. It should be perfect.But Bellamy's having trouble teaching her, Clarke is dealing with realizing she's fallen for him, and they're planning to be on an Imperial-held world for a month. It's no wonder everyone is a little stressed.





	You Light the Ground (I Walk On)

**Author's Note:**

> For [isabilightwood](http://isabilightwood.tumblr.com/)! The _Star Wars_ property is _Rebels_ , by way of the wikipedia article and a friend who advised me on casting.

"Remind me why I thought this would be a good idea."

Bellamy collapses onto Clarke with a long sigh, and Clarke smiles, tangles her fingers in his hair to scratch his scalp. "Be more specific."

"Training Octavia."

"That one's easy. She's your sister, she's force-sensitive, we don't know any other Jedi, you've been looking for her for as long as I've known you--do I need to keep going?"

He makes a face. "I'm not a Jedi."

Clarke does understand the distinction he's making. As far as he knows, he was the sole survivor of the Empire's massacre at his temple, a stroke of luck that she knows doesn't always feel lucky. He's had no formal training since, and his attempting to teach someone else when he's a novice himself in most ways must feel absurd.

But to Clarke, it feels like her refusing to take on the title of captain of the _Sylph_ just because she was never part of a formal military organization. No one's promoted her, but she has her own ship and her own crew, and that makes her a captain. It's an issue of semantics, not of skill. Bellamy's developed his powers over the years, and Clarke would take him in a fight over any so-called Jedi master.

"You're a good teacher," she reminds him. "Things are complicated, but that doesn't mean this was a bad idea. It just means you need to keep working. What happened?"

He shifts his weight off her shoulder, running his own hand through his messy hair. "Nothing special. More of the same, honestly. She's not making progress as quickly as she should be, she's frustrated, blaming me."

"And you're blaming yourself. You might not be the problem here, Bellamy. Learning takes time and patience, and so far, patience doesn't seem to be one of your sister's strengths."

"Not so far. But I don't know how to teach that, either. It's not like I was any better at her age."

"You're not that much better now," she teases, but it's not really true. Clarke was sixteen when she met Bellamy, so the two of them have gotten to watch each other grow up, have shaped each other, even. She remembers him at first, the hot-headed, angry boy who was trying to hit the Empire anywhere he could, lashing out without any real strategy.

It seemed like such a waste, his throwing away his life after all he'd survived. So she told him she had a ship, and when he asked where it was, she admitted she was _getting_ a ship.

They'd stolen the _Sylph_ together the next day, and they've been a team ever since. Other allies have come and gone, people joining the crew and leaving, moving or dying, but she and Bellamy are the core, the beating heart of the ship. There's no one else in the galaxy she knows as well or trusts as much as him. 

"If I'm not any better than I was, you definitely shouldn't call me a Jedi," he says, dry.

"If you're already giving up on your sister, you really aren't that patient."

He huffs. "I'm not giving up. Just--"

"Frustrated," Clarke supplies. "Just like she is."

"Yeah."

"It's okay to give yourself a break. Take a step back, cool off, try again. It's not going to happen overnight. You know that, don't let your sister make you forget it."

"I do know. Thanks."

She smiles, gives him an unsubtle once over. "Want me to help you forget about it?"

His laugh is a little reluctant, but the heat in his eyes is real enough. "Couldn't hurt."

*

Clarke and Bellamy started sleeping together because it was easy. They were two sexually compatible teenagers living on a ship together, drowning in a mess of hormones and adrenaline; _not_ sleeping together would have been so much more difficult. It was a fairly casual arrangement to start, nothing formal, all practicality. If Clarke was in the mood, she'd stop by Bellamy's bunk, and if he was in the mood too, they'd hook up. Bellamy started returning the favor, and it happened a few times a month, always good, but never anything more than just sex. If one of them was in a relationship, they'd stop, but once they were both single again, they'd start back up.

Clarke couldn't say exactly when her feelings toward him changed, but she does know exactly when she realized it. It was a few weeks after they'd found Octavia trying to steal from them on a job. Bellamy hadn't identified her right away--she'd been a baby when he went to the Jedi Temple--but he could tell she was strong in the force, as well as yet another reckless kid who hated the Empire and needed an outlet for that hate. 

It probably would have been easier to take her in if she hadn't been Bellamy's sister, and force sensitive on top of that. They've had a revolving door of angry teenagers who have joined the crew, and they're usually good with them. But Bellamy and Octavia have years of baggage between them, years of separate pain. It was stressful for everyone, and Bellamy and Clarke spent plenty of time in private, blowing off steam like they always did, nothing remarkable.

Not until she ran into Niylah at one of her favorite bars and Niylah asked if she wanted to go come back to her place and Clarke realized she just--didn't. Sleeping with Niylah was always fun, good, but all she wanted to do was finish her drink and go back to the ship, make sure Bellamy wasn't stressing too hard about what he was going to teach his sister.

It was the first moment she realized that he was the only one she wanted, and it's something she's still struggling with. If she was smart, she wouldn't still be fucking him, or she'd be trying to talk to him about it, but it's not as if their status quo is _bad_. It's the best thing she's ever had.

But now she knows she's in love with him.

He's worn out enough to fall asleep as soon as they're done, but Clarke's mind is still working overtime and she can't drift off, no matter how warm his arms are and how soft his bunk.

She extricates herself from him carefully, smiling at the grumpy protest.

"Where are you going?" he asks, already half asleep.

"Checking our course one more time. We're going close to the asteroid belt."

"You should come back when you're done."

She pulls on her clothes, opens her mouth to say something, but he's already asleep again, so she just leans down to press a kiss to his forehead on her way out.

Aside from Octavia, the crew has been stable for a while now, and as far as Clarke's concerned, they could stay like this forever. Lincoln is playing dejarik with Murphy--judging from Murphy's frantic whirring and Lincoln's smirk, Lincoln is winning--while Raven tinkers with some piece of tech, an odd sort of family scene. Octavia's door is closed, so Clarke assumes she's either asleep or sulking, like her brother. They're all good people, a good team with diverse skills, united in their desire to bring the Empire down. 

This could last for a long time, if none of them fuck it up.

"Murphy, did you finish checking they hyperdrive?" she asks the droid. 

She's not completely fluent in binary, but she's picked up enough that she understands Murphy is talking way too much, saying way too little, and absolutely bullshitting her, so she holds up her hand to stop his protestations.

"You can finish your game, then do the hyperdrive. If we get killed because you're lazy--"

He whirs indignantly, and Lincoln rolls his eyes.

"I'm about to win anyway."

"I'll make sure he gets it done," says Raven, standing and wiping her hands on her slacks. "How far out are we?"

"I was just going to check the projections. Why?"

"I need parts. Sooner rather than later."

"For what? Do we need to make an emergency stop?"

"Murphy, for a start." He beeps indignantly and Raven rolls her eyes. "What, you don't want to get fixed? I don't have to do this for you." He doesn't have any objections to that, and Raven turns her attention back to Clarke. "Yeah, he can wait. But I'll eel better once I have the parts I need."

"Nothing that's going to raise flags on an Imperial planet, right?"

"Standard repair stuff." She pauses, cocks her head at Clarke. "Did something happen with the Blakes?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that Bellamy stormed out of training and then Octavia yelled that he shouldn't come back and stormed into her room, and I haven't seen either of them since. When does this get bad enough that we worry about it?"

"Define _worry_."

"Is one of them going to bail?"

"No," says Clarke, a little too quickly. 

Raven's eyebrows shoot up. "You sure about that?"

"It's a rough adjustment period. But Octavia needs a teacher and Bellamy is it. They'll work it out."

"Nothing like a total lack of options to make you feel good about your group dynamics."

Clarke scowls; wishing the sex endorphins had lasted longer. That would have been nice. "Is there a reason you're asking about this now?"

"Because we've got a job to do. Look, I'm not trying to be an asshole," she adds, crossing her arms over her chest as Clarke double-checks the course headings. "I just don't want Blake-sibling drama to hit a breaking point in the middle of an Imperial base. I know you're doing your best to fuck the angst out of Bellamy, but that's an uphill battle. If they end up getting us all killed because they can't keep it together--"

"I don't think they're a liability. Bellamy isn't. I'm not just saying that because we're--whatever."

"That's what you're calling it?" Raven asks, eyebrows raised.

"He's having trouble teaching her, not doing his job."

"And you two are good?"

"Which of us?"

"Any of you, I guess. But I was thinking you and Bellamy."

"What would be wrong with us?"

Raven shrugs. "I don't know. You seem different."

"Both of us?"

"Now I know something's up," she says. "What happened?"

"Nothing! Everything's the same as always. We're fine. He's just stressed and I'm worried about him. I always worry about him."

"Yeah, I know. That's your thing. But I'm not used to worrying about everyone."

"But you are?"

She shifts a little, awkward. "This is a good gig. Probably the best one I ever had. I don't want anything to happen to it."

"I don't either. I promise I'm not worried."

"Not more worried than usual, you mean."

"Normal worried."

"Okay. Thanks."

"No problem. Is that all?"

"Just an ETA and a schedule so I know when I can pick up the parts I need."

"I can do that. Goodnight, Raven."

"Night, boss."

Clarke finishes up slowly, so by the time she's heading back to bed, all she sees is the sparks from where Murphy is working on the hyperdrive. She hesitates outside her own door, debating for a second before moving down a room, slipping into Bellamy's instead.

He did _tell her_ to. It wasn't her idea.

He doesn't stir as she climbs in next to him, but he does roll over and settle on top of her.

"You came back," he murmurs.

"You're warm. Are we good?"

He kisses her shoulder. "Always. Go to sleep."

It's easy to believe; Clarke snuggles in close and closes her eyes.

*

It's not actually their first mission with Octavia, but Clarke does understand Raven's anxiety. They're planning to be on Trogan for a while, a month at least, doing recon on Imperial activity there and causing chaos wherever they can. It's nothing new for most of the crew, but laying low and avoiding Imperial attention is harder the longer you're on the same planet, and Octavia's already bad at subtlety. One slip-up could get them all killed.

"I know that," Octavia snaps, petulant. "How come I'm the only one getting a lecture?"

Clarke takes a measured breath and pastes on a smile. "Because you're the only one who hasn't done this before."

"What do you mean, I haven't done this before? I grew up on Lothal, I lived my whole life under Imperial control. I know what I'm doing."

"You lived your life _alone_ under Imperial control," she corrects, as patient as she can manage. "I'm not questioning your ability to take care of yourself, we all know you can do that. But you're a part of a team now, and that's different."

In a way, she does sympathize with Octavia. She's a few years younger than the rest of the team, and Bellamy's little sister on top of that. She'll have a chip on her shoulder about not being taken seriously until she feels like she is taken seriously, and that could be a while, because she's wrong, too. She's not the only one who gets this kind of treatment, she's just too young to understand that Clarke worries about everyone and everything. It's her job, as the captain.

But Clarke's argument at least sways her for now. Her jaw works, but she finally nods. "I guess that's true."

It's a small victory, but she'll take it. "So you're going to listen to us and trust us? I'm not just asking you to do that, it's everyone. That's what being on a team means."

The scowl returns, but her voice is steady. "I get it, I'll listen."

"Good. And if you have ideas, we want to hear them. I know how you grew up, you're a good resource for us."

"Am I? Or am I just Bell's tag-along little sister?"

Her voice is sharp, the thin veneer of indignation failing to hide her anxiety. Clarke softens, but only internally; showing sympathy would just make it worse.

"You're a force-sensitive rebel with fighting ability and a history of making trouble for the Empire. We didn't know you were his sister when he sensed you, and we were still planning to check you out, maybe recruit you. You're not a pity hire, Octavia. But you're not a seasoned expert either. The rest of us have more experience than you do, and we're not being unfair pointing that out. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Good. You and Lincoln are hitting up Whistler's Whirlpool. Hang out, play some sabacc, let Lincoln introduce you to some of his contacts. Nothing fancy--this is a long game operation. We want information."

"What are you and Bell and Raven doing?"

She sounds curious, not defensive, so Clarke figures there's no harm in telling her. "Raven's getting parts for ship and Murphy repairs. Me and Bellamy have a cover story that we're just a pair of traders, so we're working our contacts. Nothing big, just checking in, seeing if there's any news. Like I said, we'll be here for a while. We don't have to be in a hurry."

Octavia seems content with this, apparently satisfied that she's not the only one without an exciting mission on their first day in Trogan. It's easy to think that rebellions are all sabotage and fighting, but Clarke's learned that a lot of it is slow, careful work. It's going to take a long time to beat the Empire, so long none of them might live to see it, but if they rush, they'll definitely die before the regime falls.

So the six of them split up to take their time. Murphy goes with Raven to get tech, since even droids like a change of scenery, Lincoln shows Octavia to the Whistler's Whirlpool, and Clarke and Bellamy head to the market to check in with the merchants they know.

"How's O doing?" Bellamy asks, once they're far enough from the others. "Is she going to go start a brawl?"

"I don't think so. I think I convinced her we're treating her the same as everyone else, and that helped."

"Everyone thinks rebellion is just blowing things up all the time," he murmurs, leaning in close so no one will hear. Anyone else would think he was whispering sweet nothings, and in a way, he is. Clarke fell in love with him for things like this. "Unfortunately, we need to have a plan."

"I think she gets that. And Lincoln definitely does, so maybe he'll be a good influence. I'm going to avoid putting you two together, by the way."

He sighs. "Probably a good idea."

"Not forever," she adds, giving his hand a quick squeeze. "Just--this time."

"And maybe for a while longer. I know it's going to get better. Once she feels like she's actually progressing with her force powers, she'll stop being so frustrated."

"How long does that take?"

He gives her half a smile. "The shitty thing is that being frustrated about your powers makes it harder to get your mind in balance with the force, so--"

"It's going to be a while."

"This should help, if it goes well. It's felt a little like she's on probation, so far."

"She's _new_ ," Clarke grumbles, letting some of her own frustration out. "We're treating her differently because she doesn't know what's happening yet. She hasn't done any of this stuff before."

"I know." He sighs. "You know what she told me yesterday?"

"What?"

"That we haven't done what she did either. And she was right," he admits. "She's been alone for so long. I never had to take care of myself like that."

"And she never had to be the only survivor of a massacre that killed all her friends," Clarke points out. "We all come from different places, but if anyone who wants to be part of this crew has to recognize that everyone has something to contribute."

"I think that's what I'm worried about," he admits, soft. "That she doesn't want to be. I took so many years to find her, and sometimes I feel like all she wants from me is ten steps she can take to become a Jedi and then she'll be done. If this isn't a good fit for her, I don't know what I'm going to do."

"You know this isn't a good fit for everyone. It might not be for her. It's happened before."

"She's my sister, Clarke. Half of why I wanted to be on a ship was to look at her. If she leaves--"

Revelation slams into her, making her blood run cold. "You'd go with her?"

"She probably wouldn't want me to. And I wouldn't--" He clears his throat, looks away. "I have no idea what I'd do. The _Sylph_ is my home, and I always thought it would be hers too, if I found her."

"Yeah," Clarke says, but her voice is hollow, an echo. She's never thought anything would make Bellamy leave. She can't even fathom how empty the ship would feel without him. How empty _she'd_ feel.

"Sorry," he says. "I'm not--this feels important, right? We're not even doing anything big, but I feel like I'm on the edge of fucking up and losing her again."

"You don't know that." She swallows, hard. "And you don't have to throw away everything for her. She doesn't have to be the only thing you--you're allowed to have a life of your own, Bellamy. You're not the same people, you might need different things."

"I know."

It doesn't feel important to make an impassioned plea for him to stay, not then, but it does lodge in her mind. Bellamy leaving had never been something she needed to think about; she always took it for granted that they were a team, and that if he found his sister, that wouldn't change anything. If he had to leave, she'd go with him.

But Bellamy seems to think he'd be leaving her, and that's more than Clarke wants to think about right now.

Instead, she throws herself into the mission, which is unfortunately largely because, as she kept telling Octavia, this isn't exactly one of those jobs that keeps them really busy. It's a bread-and-butter job, vital to everything they do, but listening to rumors and following up with contacts isn't exactly a great distraction. She spends as much time as she can updating records, putting things together, trying to pack their schedule so full that Octavia won't have time to feel restless and discontent.

If she's lucky, Clarke won't have time for it either.

It takes a week before anyone calls her out, and to her surprise, it's Lincoln, not Bellamy.

"I feel like you haven't left your quarters in days," he remarks, taking the seat next to her.

"I have."

"The feeling remains." He leans forward, watching her. She's known him for longer than she's known Bellamy, although it often doesn't feel like that. She met him first, but he didn't join the crew for a long time, not until the rebellion on his home planet failed, and he was left as one of the last survivors of his race. Once he'd finished mourning, he asked if there was room on her ship for him, and it always felt like a huge display of trust.

"I'm worried about Bellamy and Octavia," she says. It shouldn't be much of a surprise.

He nods. "Raven is too."

"You're not?"

"Not the way you are. I worry about how long it's going to take them to find equilibrium, but I'm not worried that they won't. It's just going to take time. From what Bellamy's said, I thought you knew that."

"Everyone else is psyching me out," she says, with a wry smile. "I was feeling fine, but then Raven was worrying, and Bellamy is talking about what he'll do if his sister leaves--"

"Ah," says Lincoln. "That's it."

She could deny it, but it would only prolong the conversation, and Lincoln would still know. "I didn't think he'd leave with her. Which is stupid, she's his sister, of course he wouldn't leave her."

"She might not want him to come, if she leaves. They can separate without anyone being abandoned."

"I know, I'm just not sure he knows."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"No." She smiles. "I don't want to."

"You should anyway. People don't always know how we feel about them."

"We don't always want them to know."

"I don't know what the point of having a best friend is if you can't talk to him about what you're going through. Especially when you're shutting yourself off so he can't talk to you either."

"Sometimes I just like making bad decisions," she says, and he smiles.

"Well, try not to make them for too long."

There's a crash outside and then Octavia yelling, "Murphy!" and frantic beeping sounds, which is enough to get them both up and moving. It's not really much of a disaster, all things considered--Murphy wanted to stir shit, Octavia had shit to be stirred--and it doesn't take long to sort out. And by the end, even Octavia is laughing, the camaraderie easy and uncomplicated.

For the first time, Clarke can see how she would fit in here, really _fit_ , instead of just being Bellamy's sister. It's a moment that comes for every crew member they keep, not just her, but the relief of it with Octavia is more profound, and when she catches Bellamy's eye, she knows he's thinking the same thing. This could work; this could last.

When he goes back to his room after dinner, she waits a few minutes before following him back. The door is closed, but it opens when she buzzes, and he doesn't look that surprised to see her. 

"Hey. Everything okay?"

She slides inside, waiting for the door to slide shut behind her before she admits, "You scared me."

His concern melts into confusion. "When? How?"

"A few weeks ago. When you were talking about Octavia leaving."

"Okay."

She exhales. "You made it sound so easy. If she left, you'd go with her. I never thought about it before."

"Oh." He sits down on the edge of his bunk, sighs. "I was wondering what happened. I thought we were all just stressed."

She joins him. "That too. But--I didn't think you could just leave like that."

"I don't know what I'd do if she asked me to leave and you wouldn't come," he admits. "But I didn't think I should assume you would either. And I felt like--you've been weird. Since we found O."

"You noticed?"

He bumps his shoulder against hers. "We spend most of our time together, yeah. I figured you were just adjusting. But you were worried I was going to leave?"

"No. I was--" She exhales. "I've been thinking about--how I feel about you."

"I, uh--did you not know?"

He looks so confused, she has to smile. "I love you."

It doesn't seem to help. "I feel like that's supposed to be a big thing, but--I knew that."

"I meant in the romantic, monogamous way. So when you said you were leaving--"

"Clarke," he says, gentle, a smile fighting its way onto his face, this huge, bright thing. "I never said I was leaving, I was just stressing. And I wouldn't just leave _you_. We'd figure it out, if we had to." He finally just lets himself grin. "Fuck, you thought I wasn't in love with you? Of course I'm in love with you. I'm so in love with you."

Clarke starts to laugh too, all relief, slumping against his side. "We don't talk about this stuff. You didn't know either."

"Not exactly. I figured we'd just never talk about it. But I knew you--" He kisses her hair. "I figured it would work out."

" _That's_ what you thought would work out? You're worried your sister will bail on her Jedi training and leave the crew, but you thought you and me would just work out?"

"Yeah. I'm a lot more sure of us than I am of me and Octavia. Than I am of anything else, honestly. We're--we're solid, right? You're never going to lose me. It's not even an option."

"I guess when you put it like that."

He tilts her chin up and kisses her, not for anything even close to the first time, but it's good every time, and she can't help feeling like this time is even better.

Requited love is nice.

The kiss only stays soft and sweet for a moment, less because she's not enjoying herself and more because she and Bellamy haven't hooked up since he said he might leave with Octavia and she likes sex and loves him and it's been too long.

Bellamy's hands slide under her shirt, tugging it up, and Clarke breaks away to help him get it off when there's a crash and Octavia yells, "Murphy, you fucking bucket of bolts, I'm going to--"

Clarke collapses, laughing, against Bellamy's neck. "Should we go deal with that?"

He shakes his head, pulls her shirt the rest of the way off. "Nah. She's fine. She's fitting right in."


End file.
